I’m a Writer and I Write All Day… Well, When I Want to

I have a lot of writing to do. And a lot of work ahead of me to get the things I want. For instance, I haven’t yet finished my fourth novel. Why not? Well, I have my excuses; I’ve been working on other projects, I’ve been freelancing, I’ve been acting, I’ve been trying to earn money so I can pursue my dream of moving to the US. It’s all bullshit. I mean, of course, I’ve been doing all these things, but to be honest, I’ve been going through a period where I just haven’t felt like writing much fiction.

I’ve still been expressing myself, writing silly ditties, poems (some of which I’ve performed), but in the back of my mind, I have Meredith sitting there waiting for me, and I know she’s good. I know the story is good. And it’s going to get done. When *I’m* good and ready. Because right now, I’m not sure that I am. There’s something in it, you see, that cuts a bit close to the bone, and I think maybe I need to finish a certain chapter of my life before I can get through it.

When I go back and look at what I’ve written so far, I get excited, and I can feel sparks, and mostly, I’m happy with it. It’s almost finished. But I have a bit of a mental block. So, that’s why I’ve been focusing on other things.

I frivolously tell people it’s taking me so long because I can’t decide who needs to die in the end. That’s true, but there’s a lot more behind it, and this is me coming clean. I know some people are waiting, and they’re going to have to wait just a little bit longer. Okay?



The Worrying Pattern

“Over-thinking, over-analyzing, separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, leaving opportunities behind.” — Tool, Lateralus

I worry, you see. Do you worry? Do you? Do you really, though? Some of us take worrying to a whole new level. Some of us even become pros. I worry, because of The Worrying Pattern, which is something I have discovered over time and some very hard lessons. It’s a ridiculous concept, of course, but I have come to the conclusion that when I worry about something (as I’m apt to do), I find there’s far less chance of things going wrong. In the past, it’s when I’ve let my guard down and stopped worrying about a particular thing, that absolutely terrible things have happened. Horrendous things. Awful, dismal abysmal things. And so, having developed a recognition for this pattern, I tend to worry not just for worrying’s sake, but also out of some weird, neurotic superstition that I now cannot seem to rid myself of.

It’s just like the photo above says; worrying about things enough tends to keep them at bay. Most of the things I worry about will never happen, and in my warped head, that’s precisely down to the fact that I have been worrying about them. It’s when I stop worrying about something, that things tend to go wrong. Relax for just a little while, and then BAM! It happens. End of the world, as I know it. I’m not saying this has never been fully deserved, though. To be quite frank, shit happens. And to me, shit usually happens when I stop worrying about… well, shit.

Luckily for me, when things have gone cataclysmically wrong, it’s usually been for the best, and always seems to happen when I’ve been on a particular path that I’ve known hasn’t been good for me. It’s sort of like life, coming along like some sort of invisible wise ninja, to knock me back into my rightful place. And although it can feel like a terrible shock at the time, in the long run, these terrible events tend to be a good thing. But at the same time, there are many, many things in my life that I do not want to go wrong, and so I will continue to worry about those, and hope the universe stays on my side.

We’re All “Strong”

For many years, women have been waking up to the realisation that they need to become their own heroes, because men tend to be self-indulgent cocks and a bit useless, and this is something being shown more frequently by strong female characters in popular culture, to the point where we don’t even have to think about it anymore. But the truth is, man and woman really need to help each other out, because women can be self-indulgent cocks too. We’re just as flawed as each other. Whilst working on my new novel Meredith, I’ve been trying to achieve that balance. Equality is our friend, and don’t forget it.



Here’s What I Think of ‘Prometheus’

Of course, with such a big legacy behind it, Prometheus was always going to be a bit hit or miss, and right now opinion seems a bit divided up the middle, probably leaning more towards the disappointment end of the scale, if we’re completely honest. Here’s what I think:

People are disappointed in Prometheus (I actually enjoyed it), mainly because of the story’s plot holes. But if I were you, I wouldn’t put the blame on Scott – put it on Lindelof and Spaihts, the writers, and whoever was in charge of the cutting room floor. Also, the consensus seems to be hoping for a director’s cut, and I agree, I think maybe that would shut a lot of people up and if there’s more Prometheus to be seen, I welcome it with open arms.

The film was visually stimulating, it had suspense and elements we’ve all come to expect from previous Ridley Scott films (especially the Alien franchise), and what I really liked about Prometheus was the fact that it was able to stand out as its own film while still being connected to the Alien movies. But it left a lot of unanswered questions, and that’s the main reason a lot of fans are getting their panties in a twist.

The acting was also good. What really stood out for me was Michael Fassbender’s performance as ‘David’ the android, the closet thing Weyland will ever have to a son. The opening sequence with David going about his chores was fantastic, and really set the scene right from the start. David is inherently flawed, of course, and manages to be a) completely awesome and b) a total shithead with little to no regard for his crew mates. Noomi Rapace was also very believable, and Charlize Theron made a great ice queen. Her best part was near the end where the ice broke she had to run for her life.

Some people are arguing that a lot of the characters weren’t behaving in a realistic or logical way; I’d say that’s completely realistic, actually. Why? People are dumb. Well, they are, aren’t they? Especially in tense situations. Think you would react any better? Hmmm?

I think the directing was actually spot on, so don’t let Scott take the fall, here. Unrealistic dialogue? Plot holes? Unnatural transitions? If we’re playing the blame game, look to the writers and editors. Overall, it’s a good film, and I’m hoping there will be a director’s cut.



Working on ‘Meredith’

Lately, as some of you may know, I’ve been a little stressed/overwhelmed by the amount of freelancing/other work I’ve been up to, and this has resulted in me taking a little break from finishing/editing the novel I’ve only been referring to as Meredith.

So, I’ve decided to remedy that by switching things around a little, and taking a little break from most of my OTHER work (I’ll still be writing for Screencrave) to focus on this, along with finding an agent.

To be honest, I’m slightly intimidated by the seemingly huge task ahead of me, but I’ll begin sending postal submissions soon. I’ll keep you all updated.

It’s been a long time coming, and I’m hopeful for the future!